Dirty bites - a recipe for the terminally lazy or hungover

This is so daftly simple, I'm not even sure it could be considered a recipe - more a fortune-cookie-length instruction on how to block your arteries a bit.

So what do you do when you find yourself with some leftover chocolate (yes, it can happen, I swear. Normally in the minutes following Easter and preceding a lengthy chocolate binge) and some pretzels, sultanas and peanut butter in the cupboard. You can see how this is gong to work, right?

You melt the chocolate, crush up the pretzels and add them in, along with the sultanas. Put a layer over the bottom of a cupcake case, drop a teaspoon of peanut butter on top, then add more chocolate-pretzel mixture on top. Wait for the whole lot to set. Or don't - just eat it there and then and get yourself some melty chocolate lipstick.

I wasn't lying when I said it was simple, no? It's just a gussied-up version of the chocolate cornflake cakes that we used to make when we were little, only with more fun bits.

I've named them dirty bites, as they're the sort of thing you might make when you've been out on a big night out and you wake up the next day, glass-fragile, hungry and too terrified of the outside world to venture to the supermarket. You feel dirty, but you need to eat, so you just cook up something from the ingredients you can forage from your kitchen. It's either this or custard and potato waffles, I guess. I'd recommend you go for these.

If I were to improve on the recipe, I'd say soak the sultanas in rum first. Only that would be too much effort, right?