My first experiment with bread was actually having a go at making it. I made a focaccia. It turned out pretty well.

Then I used focaccia dough to make these:

They're tarragon, pumpkin puree and pumpkin seed bread rolls.

Like politicians, they promised a lot, but didn't deliver quite as much.

Next stop in my bread experiments was the Grant loaf - an easy, no-knead recipe for wholemeal bread created in World War II.

It's talked up as being idiot-proof, so I used all the culinary idiocy at my command to put the Grant loaf to the test and you know what? It passed.

I buggered around with the measurements, used my most ropey scales and it still turned out alright.

So what to put on it? I had a hankering for a tofu equivalent of coronation chicken. Even in my omni period, I never so much as tried coronation chicken but, like egg nog (which has also never passed my lips in its original incarnation), it didn't stop me craving it. I blame the continent-sized hangover sucking the life out of me this morning for this aberration.

While I didn't end up with anything like coronation chicken, I did manage a comforting protein-plus-mayo-sauce combo that didn't go too badly with Doris Grant's finest.

1oz of pumpkin seeds

One large garlic clove, finely grated

One block of Taifun basil tofu, grated

Two small carrots, (1oz to 2oz each) topped, tailed and grated

One rib of celery, grated

One spring onion, chopped into thin rounds

One teaspoon of lime juice

Mayonnaise to taste

Roast the pumpkin seeds in dry frying pan for a few minutes, until they begin to colour.

Mix together the grated tofu, garlic, carrots and celery together with the pumpkin seeds, chopped spring onion and lime juice.

Add mayonnaise to taste. Be sparing - start with a couple of teaspoons and work up from there. Don't be tempted to just mash a load in - the flavour of the basil gets weaker the more you put in. You don't need a lot, just enough to bind it.

Use it to top wholemeal toast.