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Celeriac and apple remoulade recipe

According to Ben Franklin or Albert Einstein - depending on who you listen to - madness is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

If that's the case, I go mad in the kitchen fairly regularly.

I buy tempeh every few months, thinking maybe I'll get it this time and each time, I have to throw away the lion's share of a packet thinking "third time round and it's still disgusting".

Vegan cheeses are the same. Every now and again I see a new one and I think, "well, that's new. Maybe it's not rancid like all the other non-dairy cheeses I've every eaten." Yeah, or maybe not. Like every other vegan cheese I've tried, it's grim and it goes straight in the bin. Note to vegan cheese makers: if you can't make anything nice, don't make anything at all.

Celeriac is a similar experience. I buy a metric truckload every winter, delighting in its cheapness and Britishness. Then I make celeriac soup. Then I think, "and what am I going to do with half a celeriac that's been in my fridge for two weeks?"

This is what you do with half a celeriac that's been in your fridge for two weeks.

Celeriac and apple remoulade recipe


6oz of celeriac, peeled and grated
One small cooking apple, grated
One celery rib, cut into small pieces
The juice and zest of a quarter of a lemon
A pinch of celery salt
Generous grinding of pepper
Half teaspoon of garlic powder
A teaspoon of mustard
A shake or two of vegan worcestershire sauce
Two teaspoons of capers
Vegan mayo, about two heaped dessertspoons, but you might want more or less to taste

How you do it

This the kind of recipe I like - here goes: mix all the ingredients up in a bowl.

That's it.

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